Pascal

We should define our lives backwards and live our lives forward- Pascal What does this mean in today's time ? I remember a day not so long ago on a February morning when I received a call from my brother in law telling me that my Dad had passed away. At the age of twenty five(25), I was suddenly thrust into the role of 'man' of the household for my family. I was neither prepared emotionally nor spiritually to provide the real guidance necessary my loved ones. I remember the funeral preparations and the ceremony as it were yesterday. I have not dwell ed on the fact that my Father went to the Lord but that I did not console my Mother well enough in her time of grief. My Father was a self made man as many men were that lived through a Depression and a World War. He was intelligent and had a backbone of integrity and honesty. What he lacked in instructural teaching ,he lived his life in such a manner that displayed his true thoughts and desires. He was a man to be admired for his fortitude, steadfastness,and caring attitude for others. Whether it was the times, the way of 'men' in those days, or his personal shyness ,he never talked about his love of God other than he was faithful. He believed and lived his life according to the instructions and admonishments God. After his death , I was able to read instructions from his pastor while he was in the Coast Guard.A genuine love for Christ and the church was seen in these writings. Why the discussion about my Dad? Each one of us will experience death. God tells us how we are to live, how we are to love,and ultimately how we are to die. In this context,falling on our knees is probably the first thing I would advise us to do.
Picture a funeral with all your closest friends, associates,and family members. What are they saying? What are they grieving ? What are their sharing with others? What are their deepest thoughts? What are they thinking about their lives? What are they regretting? What are they saying you loved ? It is your funeral. What would you like to to say?
We all come into this world with gifts and knowledge. We can walk upright ,we have hands sculptured by God, we can reason, we have God's Word. We all have a knowledge of God. We all have an inherent nature to want everything for ourselves, to satisfy ourselves, to make our image supreme to ourselves. This thought may be out of fashion in our image conscious world but 'sin' rules . Deny it, hide it, put up a disguise,call it something else -it is still there bigger and not better than ever. We don't like to face it because its ugly and we are not sure how to get rid of it. It's enticing,it brings temporal pleasure,and it's always there just within reach when you least expected. It makes us feel appreciated,worthy,powerful,full of ourselves - for a second,maybe a minute , and when our senses are dull enough maybe a life time. It will make us feel guilty-for a second, maybe a minute ,and when our senses are dull enough maybe a life time. The imagery comes to mind from Mrs. Finian's English class of Dante's Inferno. Round and round we go, down and down we go , never suspecting while searching for joy and satisfaction at every turn. We find it , we feel satisfaction,we feel empty ,and we search for more self until we have gone so far without realizing the extent of the journey nor the cost to ourselves.
I digress, back to the funeral. We were made in God's image. We were born with sin. In our lives , the road to Damascus is different for each one. What we believe will be the true compass for our lives. So for each one of us what road are you on ? The Road to Damascus to carry out your our life? Pray that God comes to you on that road. Living your life forward on the road to Damascus will be dictated by what you love and by what you think will bring you the greatest pleasure. Self,self image, admiration of others, feeling good,looking good,being in control,and being right all will push you and pull you on that highway. Know that God loves you. Loves you enough to see you in this condition and still loves you. He sent his only Son to die on a Cross for each one of us. He did this to express His love and to display His true nature/goodness/purity and to reorient your lives to travel another road of life to another city. In the end, what the people gathered at your funeral will be important because it testifies how you lived your life. They need to know you well enough to tell others what you loved.
With all that said, what will God say on that day? What did you love the most? Where did you find your greatest pleasure and joy. What road have traveled? Let us say -ego non sum ego-we are not our own. We were saved from ourselves and this world by His Grace -Let's travel together with Him on this life's journey to the new city